When the internet made its first appearance, the world was in awe. What once was a foreign concept, people now use daily to enhance the quality of our lives. What brought great joy, knowledge and excitement, also brought destruction which we have to protect ourselves against. As an autistic teenager who grew up with the internet, I had to learn the hard way that the Internet is not at all times a safe place, but with the correct safety tools from parents, teachers and my psychologist I became more educated.

After my autism diagnosis at age 12, I did what many people do – I turned to the Internet to find out more about this once foreign concept. While there were plenty of research documents and facts available, I could not find lived experiences until about two years later. Personally for me and many other autistic people (who I engage with), we could agree on how easily influenced we are by what we read online. Some of us feel deeply about everything we read and can easily get caught into believing a false persona. My research at 12 landed me on a few Facebook groups, where I would read about mothers sharing recipes on how to treat autism, or how mothers see themselves as heroes, and till today if I do not protect myself I read things about a mother who wants to take her autistic child’s “suffering” away.

In about my second year of high school, we had someone talk at our school about internet safety – discussing the classics of cat fishing (which I still think is a strange word). My autistic brain of course got an entirely different message and that afternoon I created an Instagram account. I took the advice and did not use my birth name. This way my first autism account got created and I started sharing the knowledge I gained and I tried being the lived experience I once was looking for. Protecting myself got harder the more followers I got – getting upsetting messages, getting added to groups where harmful content was shared and the inevitable hacking. The person who spoke at our school never mentioned any of the above and I was thrown into the depths of the internet, trying not to drown.

Staying safe on the internet might at first be difficult, but I learned it actually comes down to setting boundaries. Sometimes you also only learn from experience and in my case, it would take about two tragedies before I finally realised. Since then I put the following in place in order to stay safe:

DO NOT click on any links you receive online.

This might seem obvious, but it is not always. I was hacked by clicking on a link from a friend of mine on Instagram. My Minecraft server also got hacked after I clicked on a link from a YouTuber who has over 10,000 followers (who I presumed was therefore safe).

DO NOT engage in harmful conversations online.

As an autistic individual who feels strongly about justice, I had to set this boundary, because I was only hurting myself. On the internet there are cruel people and no matter how wrong they are and how right you are, it is better to stay out of it. People online also always find a way to make it personal – causing mostly harm.

The SPECIAL button

After multiple incidents and inappropriate messages from people insulting my autism, I have found it easier to push the block button. It can be difficult, but in order to stay safe and keep yourself and loved ones safe, this button helps (especially if you are a younger user).

DO NOT share personal information.

I have learned to be careful what, where and with whom I share personal information. I rarely hand out my phone number and on the internet I sometimes do not share my name. Other people have given out card numbers and other important information that can risk their safety and identity fraud. Always know who you share the information with and do not trust blindly, for the internet is filled with faceless and dangerous people.

Being an autistic user of the internet can be challenging. We get influenced by the wrong people, get taken advantage of, called slurs and however our parents try their best to support us, sometimes it is not enough. I have reached a part of my life where I can identify when the internet is affecting me negatively and then I take a break for about a day. Setting boundaries is a vital part of staying safe. Parents can try to remove our devices, limit screentime – but that does not always work and in my opinion it is not a way of protecting a child.

For many of us the internet is a form of escapism, a place we make friends, build friendships and learn new skills. Many parents find limiting screentime a positive thing – and I believe it is at a younger age, but instead on focusing too much on screentime, the community needs to focus more on educating about internet safety.

If you go on the internet, you can be bombarded with negative information and tragedies. Staying safe includes finding a community that encourages you to grow and flourish. The internet keeps on expanding and the negative list gets longer, but there are positives people can focus on. We all need to stay safe and keep other Ladybugs safe. We are after all in this together.

Written by: Bianca Van der Walt, for Yellow Ladybugs. 

Reach Bianca at @autistic_teenager 

My name is Bianca van der Walt – I  for a living. Being autistic and writing about it makes me feel a lot less alone in this confusing world and brings me great joy to be able to say “I AM AUTISTIC”.

‘Yellow Ladybugs has made a great impact on my life, am South African. I am graduating from high school at the end of 2023, which makes me 18 years old. My special interests are autism, the German language and a series called Castle. I have an autism Instagram page called @autistic_teenager. I find great joy in educating people about autism and making content about it – if I could I would only do thatgiven me a chance to share my voice in the world. It has helped me realise how wonderful it is to be autistic and that I never want to stop doing what I am doing – educating people about autism.’