This guest blog by Bella, an autistic teen, is part of our Mentoring Series. In this open and relatable piece, Bella reflects on her experiences of school, burnout, and the different pathways that helped her re-engage with learning in ways that felt right for her.

Bella shares what it was like moving between mainstream and specialist schools, navigating pressure to follow ‘typical’ education and career paths, and finding her place through alternative programs, community connections, and supportive mentors. She also offers practical tips for autistic teens facing school burnout, including ways to reconnect with learning slowly, advocate for their needs, and protect their mental health along the way.

This blog is a validating and encouraging read for autistic young people, families, and educators. It highlights how flexible pathways and unconditional support can make all the difference when traditional schooling doesn’t fit.

Readers will take away:
• Honest insights into school burnout and recovery from a teen perspective
• Encouragement to explore flexible learning and career options
• Practical tips on re-engaging with school at your own pace
• Reflections on friendship, community, and confidence-building outside the classroom

• A reminder that there’s no single “right” way to learn or succeed 

When I was considering what content might be helpful for other autistic young people I thought a lot about my experience at school, school burnout, and what helped me to find my way beyond school burnout. It might be useful for other teens to hear a little bit about how I found my way through this stage (so far!).

Starting at primary school I found the structure of mainstream school basically impossible to navigate - what teachers expected of me at school even with support. I went to a few different primary schools and eventually changed to a specialist autism school, which for me was a good fit.

Pressure to Follow TYPICAL Pathways…

It was a strange time when I changed to a specialist school. A lot of people would make weird comments about this being “bad for my future”. It was not a nice thing for me to keep hearing from people that hardly knew me but had an opinion. It was very simple: the structure at mainstream schools did not work for me. At my new school I was able to relax a bit and start to learn all the things I had missed out on. I do not pretend any one school is perfect, but I could be myself and be included in learning properly for the first time. It was also cool that we were ALL autistic, so there was ZERO drama about being autistic.

There can be lots of NOISE about TRADITIONAL or TYPICAL schooling and career paths. We have talked about this a lot with my family. I have been encouraged to try to find learning that I enjoy and am interested in, but I see a lot of kids get pushed more into the “traditional or typical” type learning and career paths. We talk a lot about not feeling pressure to do things a certain way just because that is what others do. A few things have stood out to me - look to the people around you that enjoy their jobs - we discuss at home that some people who follow a more traditional schooling and job pathways end up miserable but will still push that path. I might choose to work part time OR a job that might not earn much money but is an area of deep interest for me. Some people get really stuck on traditional or typical and then can be negative about doing it differently. Doing things because “that is what is expected” means nothing if you hate it. These days there are so many more flexible options with learning and working. My family have always talked openly about not feeling pressure to do life a certain way. Run off and join the circus if you want!

It could be hard some days at school as it was mostly boys and it could be hard to fit in at times (especially when I moved to the high school) but grew to have a small, close group of friends that I could rely on: a few at school and a few outside of school who I met at Yellow Ladybugs and community groups such as a local pottery class.

When I was diagnosed, it was suggested that my family connect with Yellow Ladybugs, and this was a HUGE part of my life in early years through primary school. Connecting with other autistic kids was the best, and in a space where we could be ourselves. My mum was a volunteer so we would go to the monthly social events for many years and we never missed even one event! I was given the opportunity to do some peer mentoring with YLB and even some casual work once I got older. These sorts of opportunities are so hard to find and it really helped me build my confidence. I literally could not access this type of support or programs anywhere else.

Early/Mid High School Can Be Really Hard for Autistics

These years can be very difficult for many autistic students because the curriculum is quite structured with limited flexibility. To be honest, after years of (what felt like) hanging on for my life at school, I found myself totally burnt out and completely disengaged with learning around Year 8 and 9. I still enjoyed the social bits like seeing my teachers and my small group of friends, but schoolwork was really boring and I felt sort of lost at times.

These middle school years were hard, and in the end I spent over a year recovering from bad school burnout! This meant that some weeks I was not able to get to school at all. Other weeks, maybe I could manage 1 or 2 days. For me, burnout was just a build-up of all the stress I had in school over the years. So many people really do not understand how bad school burnout can be, especially for teens who have been trying to fit in for so many years. I tried my best to do what teachers asked and to meet their expectations. I had an aide help some days. I did shorter days and limited hours, but I just never fit in the mainstream school system. My family could see I was burnt out, so during that time I wasn’t forced to go to school. I needed to go slow, and I was in control of that. I recovered from that burnout episode, which was just a build-up of stress over my schooling from Prep to Year 8/9. I needed the recovery time, but this time away can also feel isolating, so teens and families need to make sure they have mental health support if needed.

Career Pathways

Once I was approaching age 15, my school’s Career Pathways person worked with me and my family to find options for me to consider. I finally felt a bit more in control and could make some REAL choices for myself. I was lucky that the Career Pathways person at my school had known me for many years and was so committed to opening up all options. We completed a few big surveys to highlight my interests and strengths. Yes, there was a bit of paperwork (!) but looking back I can see how important that phase was.

I was nervous about trying something new after so many years, but I was able to get a place with a local Animal Care course at a school that offered some VCAL programs and not being too dramatic (!) this type of part time course was literally life-changing. I started with only 1 unit per term, which was 4 hours weekly in addition to my other school hours. I hit the ground running and did assessments on my FIRST DAY! It was so good being able to enjoy the work and complete the tasks easily because I enjoyed the subjects so much. I LOVED GOING! This built my confidence, even though it was only 4 hours a week, this was an important part because I started ENJOYING the work!

Some of the Detail: Options Mix & Match

• Some Victorian schools follow a different approach to learning. Many of these schools are members of The Future Schools Alliance which is a group of schools that are interested in more progressive learning models. Some of these schools are underpinned by the values found in PACE programmes (Passion, Achievement, Choice Empowerment). These more progressive education options may work for you if traditional schooling structure is not a good match. This philosophy focuses on “choice over curriculum” which helps to reframe learning. They are committed to champion authentic student empowerment and personalised learning pathways fr! It sounds simple but it is grounded in compassion and curiosity. All through school there was so much focus on what I had missed or what I could NOT do. This philosophy of not focussing on the gaps but finding areas for deep learning was a game changer for me.
• SBAT: School Based Apprenticeship & Traineeship: There are heaps of options but my school suggested a Warehousing and Logistics qualification. I wasn’t sure how I would go but I really fit into the workplace and it has been great learning on the job. In my program I also get to do some community work when we deliver some parcels and I have found this to be fantastic. I don’t think I could sit at a desk all day! So I do 2 days at my SBAT placement and I am continuing my Animal Care course 1 day a week. There are learning areas in Digital Media and Technology, Building and Construction, Health, Community Services, Creative, Hospitality, Clean Energy and Engineering, Sport & Recreation, Creative Industries (including Screen and Media, Music, Dance, Apparel Fashion &Textiles), Agriculture and Environment (which includes Animal Care and Conservation & Ecosystem Management - deep interest areas for many of us!). Business is also a stream which helps me with general workplace skills and also can include Small Business management (Operations and Innovation. Work Skills is 2 days a week and often includes lots of excursions and getting out into the community. LINK https://www.vic.gov.au/how-vocational-education-training-fits-into-year-11-12#your-vet-options

What would you say to another autistic teen going through burnout?

Tip1: Try not to compare yourself to other kids. It can be hard when there is so much talk about traditional “success” which could be friends and family doing their Year 11 and 12 and their grades. Even when peers talk about engaging with activities like sporting groups, camps and even homework groups as these might be things that have not been very accessible for you. I guess I mean there is no education path that is worth more than other versions.

Tip2: Try to stay in touch or engaged with your school supports at least a little bit if you can thru burnout! If I had completely withdrawn I do not think I would have been able to find the options that worked for me without school support.

What helped you most?

Being allowed to engage with external supports and community even though I was mostly unable to get to school during that period.

Tip3: If you are in school burnout but you have another activity or community that brings you happiness then make sure to advocate that you still NEED to do those things. You might be told “if you can’t get to school you can’t do other FUN activities” which is honestly rubbish. You need to take care of your mental health and being disconnected from your school community can be very isolating during teen years. If you are feeling isolated from school then ANY activity or outing is good for this. You are working hard on your capacity to get to school but you do not deserve to be cut off from the world because of that!

Tip4: When I did return to full time learning the biggest factor and motivator was being able to actively learn. Sitting still in a classroom all day was a nightmare for me - even with accommodations there were times I felt trapped. In my current schooling program sure we still do theory and assessments but this hands on learning is so much easier for me.

Any tips you’d pass on?

Tip5: Start small and maybe have a look over VCAL subjects even in the lead up to turning 15! Looking at the options might give you some hope and help you feel connected to future options even if you are experiencing school burnout right now - a light at the end of the tunnel for some of us. Then you could try one VCAL class in an area you really like - lots of choices including Animal Care, Farming, Music, Art. Re-engage slowly if you can, without jumping into a full time program at the start, because you might feel overwhelmed if you are suddenly doing 5 days.

FINAL WORDS: School burnout is REAL and it can really hit you hard! Take care of your mental health, ask for support if you need and take it slow with re-engaging with school when you feel ready. Just because you have missed some schooling does NOT mean that you are broken or that you can not reconnect with your learning. When looking at schools look for ones that  embrace the idea of “Unconditional Positive Regard” - in action means this means that if you have a bad day or rough moment we start fresh the next day, we start each new interaction with recognising you deserve Unconditional Positive Regard, we all do!